Crazy wild guys and gals

On August 2^nd, a large group of geocachers are meeting somewhere northeast of Baytown to hike into some of the most inhospitable section of woods in East Texas for the soul purpose of finding 4 geocaches, one of which is 15 feet up in a tree.  It will be very hot and humid and potentially dangerous and that is exactly why these intrepid people are drawn to it.

It is what is known in geocaching circles as an “Event”.  An event is a gathering of geocachers to do something and this usually means they are going to eat, chat, share stories, and trackable items, called travel bugs and geocoins.

This particular event is to meet to do all of these things, except maybe the eat part if you exclude the boxes of donuts and kolaches.  Afterward, machetes in hand, they will tackle the wild and when I say wild, Borneo has nothing on East Texas when it comes to brambles and thorns.  The snakes are a trade-off and there will be snakes, feral hogs, spiders, and if there is water, maybe a gator or three.

2 men - 3 women event/11 mile hike

If you think this is a men only event, think again.  Chances are there will be an even split between males and females, as the geo-women will pert-near go any place a geocache resides.  I know one lady who tackled the One Huge Smiley series of caches in George Bush Park by herself; an 11-mile hike through deep vegetation.  This is a hike very few people will attempt by themselves, as GB Park is primitive, potentially hostile, and full of thorns.

I can say it is an extreme feat because I did it solo back in 2010.

There are only 4 geocaches hidden in this vast stretch of woods and when they published 2 years ago, the original 2 turned back the first to find hunters, then sent the next 2 geocachers to the hospital due to dehydration.  One very experienced geocacher from Beaumont left an online log of his experience and here it is: 

“Came over with Cache Control to try for this one. Parked at the listed parking coordinates to start our hike out from there and actually made it to ground zero without too much trouble. However, finding the cache was another thing all together. We looked for a good hour and a half, climbed every tree, looked in every hollow, and even used our scuba equipment in the nearby watered down area. All I can say is that the cache got the better of us.”

“Heading back towards the truck was where our bushwhacking skills were put to the test. We chose to do some exploring while we were there and found that the route we chose was not a good one at all. Briars, thickets, gullies, and more briars were the obstacles of the day on this trek. We eventually made it back to the truck but not without pain and the shedding of much lost blood.”

  

Finally, an ex-Marine from Baytown named Ricky Rodriguez – who works for the city and goes by the geocaching handle Muddy Bones, on his second attempt, got the first to find honors:  “FTF @ 9:00 pm. When Cache Control first posted it as found, I figured only a Devil Dog would do this at night and in the rain...Semper Fi.  But, since it was changed to a note I knew that I had to go in and try my hand after work.  My oldest son and I got to the parking area about 1 1/2 hours after somebody else left (who had reportedly been there "all day"). At that, we figured we'd be second but wanted to give it a shot since we were already there. Sure was nice to find the blank log!  This one is definitely for those who prefer the road less traveled. Will get a favorite point.”

Now bear in mind, he wrote this in February.  We are going into the woods in August.  I’ve put out a call for a couple of paramedics or EMT’s to be on hand and my Jeep will be available to traverse the nearby pipeline in the sad likelihood someone will need medical attention.

The reason I am asking for medical help and offering my Jeep is because I organized this Bataan Death March type event.  Some folks want to jump off of bridges, cliffs, and buildings to get an adrenaline rush.  Geocachers simply want to challenge themselves in the woods over difficult to get to caches, or hard to find caches in parks, cemeteries, and trails.

Another reason they are coming is a couple of us are going to document the adventure with a video camera and post it on youtube.com.

This one is not for everyone and is not meant to be, but the sweet feeling of success that will come from finding these 4 geocaches and logging close to 4 miles in the dense woods in August’s extreme heat will make it worth all the blood, sweat, and tears that are shed getting there and back again.  I’m pretty much sure I’ll write about it after the fact – if I survive.

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Beggar’s Lice, Jeep Keys, and Miracles

I pride myself on making as few mistakes as possible and when I do err, it is usually due to omission, rather than commission.   In easier words, what this means is I fail to do something or have to go back and do something I could have handled when I was there.  At least that’s the way I see myself.  When I explained to my daughter what I am about to write and told her about my pride when it comes to errors, she blatantly informed me, “you make mistakes all the time, Pops”.

This past Saturday, my Bride and I were going to take our bicycles down to Texas’ premier wildlife park, Brazos Bend SP, but when I inspected her bike, I noted it not only had a flat rear tire, but I had procrastinated on replacing both bald tires.  It was an omen I should have heeded and since have corrected.

Not to be swayed, we decided we would walk the trails and yes, geocache.  Now Brazos Bend has miles of trails and more wildlife than you will see in a year and because all the geocaches I was wont to get were a minimum of 500 feet off the trail in snake-infested knee to waist deep vegetation, my bride wisely opted to stay on the trail while I ventured in solo – in shorts.

I was wearing my Cambodian-made favorite geocaching cargo shorts and a pair of shin-high “fast” hiking socks that are awesome to put it in plain terms.  After venturing in and back out to the trail, I noted both socks and my leg hairs were covered with beggar’s lice.  I mean covered.  Beggar’s lice is a sticking plant seed that grabs hold of any passing animal to spread itself.  This particular variety was round and hard and dang well impossible to get out of my socks. 

It was so bad that after each venture off the trail, I would sit down, take off my boots and rake my socks to try and remove as much as I could.  It is singly the worst infestation of this plant I’ve ever witnessed and when we did finally get home, I had to throw my “fast” socks in the trash.  I just could not get all of the seeds out of them.  The sad truth is I made an error.  In my Jeep are a fine pair of nylon gaiters and these neat articles of clothing wrap around your legs and boots and would have staved off the onslaught of sticky seeds.  I won’t make that mistake again.

After about 5 miles of hiking, searching, and plucking we retreated back to my Jeep and our picnic lunch.  We were parked in the far back parking lot and it was very peaceful.  Finishing up, I grabbed my full waist pack and using my key to lock up my Jeep, I told my bride to simply clip the carabineer on the back of the pack…  giant mistake which I won’t make again!

My pack can carry 5 bottles of water, but since we were taking a 3 mile loop, I only brought two… Stee-rike two.  Into the deep woods I went again and again while my bride jogged down the trail and back and each time I would bushwhack through heavy vegetation, going places only geocachers and idiots go.  Notice my bride isn’t the idiot that I am.

Walking out on the last trail, a man, his teenage daughter, and 8 year old son walked past us and I greeted them.  As they stopped to take a photo, we passed them and when I went back into the woods, they passed us again.  By this time we were getting very hot and tired, having been in the park hiking about 6 hours and who knows how many miles?  We decided we would go back to the Jeep and drive down to Elm Lake and look at the gators.  My bleeding and scratched legs looked like they had been in a sword fight with munchkins and we were both parched dry, having gulped down the two bottles of water earlier.

Stepping up to the Jeep, I pulled the pack off and to my horror; there was no Jeep key on the carabineer.  All the other keys were there though.  It didn’t take rocket surgery to realize the keys are most likely irrecoverable.  I squatted down and pulled out my Smartphone and that is when desperation set in.  I had 3% battery left!  I rapidly texted my daughter, 60 miles away.  She’s a stylist at Green Apple Salon and most likely giving one of her clients a make-over, so as the phone died, I had no idea when and if she would see the text.

I took full responsibility for my stupidity, as I had a flask charger setting on desk at home, capable of charging ten cell phones.  Inside the Jeep was life-giving water and other wet cold drinks and we had no way to access it.

The closest ranger station was two miles away, so off we went and I was very hard on myself, guilt-ridden for putting my bride through all of that.  Arriving there about a half hour later, I called my daughter and then explained to the ranger about my lost key.  Going outside, my bride and I talked about the 2 hour wait until the new key would arrive and decided we would pass the time by walking the 3 miles to the front office.

As we talked I saw the man and his kids arrive that we saw on the trail and he and the boy went inside.  We stood up and for no real reason; I told the teenage girl we lost our key.  “My dad found a Jeep key on the trail and he took it inside!” she remarked with a smile.

To make a long story short enough to fit on this page, we caught a ride back to the Jeep and it is my honest opinion that our merciful God Almighty intervened for us that day by having an armadillo pick that key up and drop it on the trail in front of those good people.  There is no other reasonable explanation.

Baytown Bert has a Gator moment!