Barack Obama Awarded 10th Degree Black Belt!

Our American President has been awarded the coveted Nobel Peace Prize for bringing hope to the whole world and for something to do with nuclear arms non-proliferation. I think this is great! It really bolsters the credibility of the Nobel Peace Prize committee members and puts Barack Obama right up there with Teddy Roosevelt, Albert Einstein, Ralph Bunche, Albert Schweitzer, Martin Luther King Jr., Henry Kissinger and Mother Teresa and shuts the mouth of all those who claim he hasn’t changed a thing in the last 10 months – plus, he got the gold in record book time, unlike the other historically accomplished folks I just mentioned.

He was in office 12 full days before he was nominated and we all remember how much he did the 11 days before that. My pointed head is still spinning.

It only took Mother Teresa all her life to get it and President Obama did it (snapping fingers) like that. Bully for him. This sets a real precedent too. Maybe a blogger can win it. I think I’ll change the name of this Blog to something like “I promise the moon and stars to promote world peace, at high altitudes and give everyone something cool”. That might do it. Of course, I won’t have to actually come across with anything concrete after I’m nominated and that’s the real beauty of it.

I’ll have to get a teleprompter too I guess, and maybe a couple of aggressive speechwriters with carnival hawking experience (it’s not easy to fool everyone, but I just have to fool roughly 50%). These guys will have to be good and if I can drag in an acting coach too, that'll top off my chances of winning. Then I could feign shock and awe when the awards start coming in.

Now, what I’m hoping to see next for our President is some more choice awards to beef up his resume. The President of the World Taekwondo Federation should ask the Kukkiwon to award Mr. Obama a 10th degree black belt for instance. What? They only go up to 9th degree? Not a problem, just create one. Our President deserves the highest-ranking black belt in the world. The world owes it to him and he would look awesome giving speeches and whatnot.

There has got to be an Academy Award in this thing somewhere, I can smell it. Let’s see…I got it - a Lifetime Achievement Oscar, or maybe Best Inspiring Performance! That second one might have to be invented, but those Academy folks did it for Al Gore and they sure as heck-fire can do it again. You can see that I’m all about change, can’t you?

What other awards are out there that people usually win because they work hard all their lives and deserve that we can give our President? He has after all, brought hope to people like Kenyans and stuff. It was looking like there were bunches of people in Afghanistan that were singing his laurels, but for some reason they are waffling, so no awards are coming from under that rock that I can see.

Personally, I think President Obama should win the Heisman Trophy – that’s a given I know, but not everyone agrees (they probably listen to Glenn Beck’s blather all the time).

There’s the Stanley Cup that’s up for grabs and let’s not shy away from a couple of Olympic Gold medals – say maybe 9 or 10 in the same sport? I hadn’t thought about the Kentucky Derby until just now, but it’s not out of reach and then, there is a Superbowl ring that would look real nice.

One way or the other, I’m happy for the man. Alfred Nobel would be proud.