If I won the lottery

I guess at one time or another, everyone dreams about inheriting or winning a huge sum of money and I am no exception. However, how much money you might win is in question.  How much is enough to fulfill your vision? That question deserves an answer and I am determined to find it.  Now (I hate to add this caveat) there is math involved… yes, the dreaded conversation stopper.

Let’s say you would be happy with Texas two-step’s initial lotto winnings of $200,000.00. Well, right off the bat, the gov-ment is going to take about $70,000, leaving a piddley $130,000 which equates to purchasing 2 large 4X4 ¾ ton diesel pickem-up trucks with over-sized bumpers and accouterments (One for you and one for your lady).  Blam, you are out of lotto money!

You won’t even have money to MAXX-out your truck on Massey-Tompkins and put them big ol tares and cool 24 inch rims on them trucks, so Texas two-step is out (in my book). Well, at the initial offering stage anyway.

One time over in Channelview when this subject came up, one fellow exuberantly declared he would buy his wife a brand new “Esplanade!” I looked down his street and thought to myself, well, that would be an improvement on a grand scale.

I’ve seen that program where they followed up on people who have won a couple hundred million bucks and the resulting “buys” have been amusing or sad, and flabbergasting most of the time. One fellow and his wife bought this gigantic water fountain with all kinds of cement statues and placed it right in the middle of their front yard next to a broken down truck. It was an incredible view from the trashed-out deck of their mobile home.

It appears that most of my friends want to win a modest amount, say 2 million or in some cases less and they would do incredibly noble things with it, like build a house for a crippled lady, or pay for 1200 kids lunches.  A great deal said they would tithe to their church, which is very honorable (this usually came about 10 minutes later with a second reply).  Giving money away is very easy when you don’t have it. I pray if I ever do come into a great deal, I can be as generous as these people.

My Channelview buddy was way more expansive and a bit greedy in his wishes. “I would have a whole fleet of Ka-ma-rows; the ones with the big ol stripes on the hood and all and I would park them all in the front yard so’s people could admire them. They’d all be top of the line!” He made no mention of getting dentures and every time he ended a word with an “S” he whistled.

Me? I would like to win about 20 million after taxes, tithe on that, plus a goodly offering and then build my bride a real nice house. I wouldn’t move away, buy a log cabin in Montana, or a desert isle in Pago-Pago. If I did buy one of those big ol 4X4 ¾ ton King Ranch chicken trucks, I would probably leave it parked and drive my Jeep.

I could raise my Jeep higher and put bigger tires on it, but they’re already real big and the vehicle can go anywhere I point it. Its named Tha Choppa, as in Schwarzenegger’s “Get to the Choppa!” It is my vehicle of choice and having more money won’t change that.

With a cool 20 mil in the bank, I would probably still buy 2 gallons of Ug-Lee’s gumbo and their beans an Andouille sausage each month. About once a month, my bride and I would still drive down to San Leon and eat at Bubba’s Shrimp Palace. The gym named after the clock would still be our morning ritual 4-5 times a week.

Some folks told me they would create a giant pet asylum and spay and neuter all the animals for free. Others would send all their kids through college, or buy their Mom or sister a new home. Another said they would launch out on a world tour and stay gone until they came back.

I guess the biggest revelation for me was that the big money wouldn’t really change what I want and am already doing, so in one sense… I’ve already won the lotto.

It’s the Little Things, Man

No one can say the word “man” like Dennis Hopper. He’s the quintessential biker hippie 70’s freak dude and when he uses the word “man’ in a movie or commercial, he says it with all the peace-love-dope inflection I remember the word deserved in its time. He said it the way I said it.

Yesterday I was hiking up to the top of a giant reactor structure. It was hot and there was little wind. To set the scenario, it was a slow weekend day with nothing to do, so I decided I would see if I could break my personal record of five back to back climbs of 326 steps. On my sixth and last ascent, I was noticeably tired and quite hot and realized the wind had ceased to blow. This particular ascent was cooking me. As I neared the top, I muttered a plea to the good Lord for a breeze and within seconds a light wind came up. It was little, but it was enough.

I’ve been working non-stop since my son’s funeral, clocking in just shy of fifty days in a row with one exception on May 20th. It’s been doable and it’s helped occupy my mind and pay expenses, but the scenery hasn’t changed and that is something I miss. Opening my lunchbox the other day I found a small love letter from my bride. My lunch tasted extra good that day.

At the Byrd Sanctuary out Dayton way, my family gathered for a crawfish festival, one of many gatherings my sister and brother-in-law stage for friends and family at their place. As we talked, laughed and ate, an American swallow-tailed kite flew over their property. This giant predatory bird with a four-foot wingspan caused all of us to stop and stare as it performed its beautiful aerial ballet. We are still talking about it days later.

Last night my folks came by for a visit and as we sat on the patio, we were delighted to see a pair of black-bellied whistling ducks fly over Chaparral Village. I was happy we were there at that moment to witness this display. It was a little thing and I enjoy life in bite-sized form.

I recently combined two passions: Sriracha hot sauce and bean, cheese and jalapeno tamales from Los Torito’s on N. Main. I drove in from work about 4:15pm and was greeted by the owner, Llyda Martinez. I told her about my new addiction (Sriracha hot sauce) and how I was anxious to try it on her made in Baytown scrumptious tamales. She said she was familiar with the potent Am-Viet concoction and even though her seasoning of Chile de Arbol peppers is perfect, the Sriracha is calling my name right now. Needless to say I scalded my innards and the already delicious tamales with Sriracha as soon as I got home. It’s a small delight, but it has big satisfaction.

My neighbors Barbara and Craig Pugh cooked us up a mess of pork ribs and dropped them off for no other reason than they are good and generous people. Small acts of kindness weigh in big at our house. Baytown has a lot of folks like this and that’s why I call it home.

My point is simple; it’s the small things, man, that make the world spin right for us, not winning the Lotto, or driving that Hummer H2 that gets our eye. Of course, those would be nice too.