Can an old dog learn new tricks?

Last week, many of my readers responded very positively to my column concerning pain and pain management. It appears from feedback that severe pain is very common and a real problem to control and treatment and management can be very costly. Our politicians are making some pain drugs much more difficult to obtain for people who are sincerely dependent upon it to carry on a semi-normal life.

For a long time I've made the claim that anyone who challenges me to define what I believe is my friend. It is the easiest path to throw up your hands anytime you don't agree with something and say, "Sorry, but that's the way I see it and I'm not going to change my mind." I want to challenge you with this column and I want you to ruminate on what I am about to assert.

Steve Wold, better known as Seasick Steve wrote these insightful lyrics in the song, Can't teach an old dog new tricks:

"There must be something wrong with me

What it is I can't quite see

I can't seem to do nothing right.

Maybe I need to change my style

Been this way for a long long while

Maybe there's a few things I ought to fix.

Can you teach an old dog new tricks?"

Before you judge me on what you are about to read watch this amazing video and then chew the cud.

In this video, a man with Parkinson's disease is shaking so badly, he couldn't take a drink of water to save himself. He is offered a marijuana solution and he puts ONE drop under the tongue. Within ONE minute, he begins to calm down. In FIVE he sits up with no shakes and comments that his voice is coming back and then sings. The transformation is incredible or miraculous and the man appears healthy.

If after watching what one drop of this plant's extract can do for just one single disease, you cannot see the need to open it up for expansive research, then Steve's got another set of lyrics for you to embrace.

"Maybe I should leave well enough alone
I might not be perfect but I'm me to the bone
I don't need to change my style
Been this way for a long long while
There ain't nothing that I got to fix
You can't teach an old dog new tricks."

At 65 I do not want to be this old dog that simply refuses to adjust my thinking to adjust to science's onward march, especially when the original information was flawed.  Reefer madness is one of the biggest lies ever pushed on the American public, except maybe the need for underarm deodorant. BO as an advertising term was invented by Odo-Ro-No in 1919 (wisely targeting women's critical self-consciousness) to buy deodorant when all they needed was to bath regularly and wear clean clothes. Offensive body odor is caused by a buildup of bacteria and it simply does not grow that fast. However, stinking is not a crime. Maybe it should be. To substantiate my claim, I haven't used deodorant since 1977.

Marijuana is classified as a Schedule 1 narcotic in the same category as heroin due to their dangerousness and potential for addiction. What idiot pushed this one past reasoning people? Heroin yes, cannabis, no. I can't substantiate my next statement with cold hard facts, but I am pretty danged sure no one has ever overdosed on marijuana alone. They may have laughed themselves to death, but overdose? Nope.

Now in the early 70's, I smoked this stuff like a chimney every single chance I got, so I am backing up my claims with personal experience. I quit because I turned my life over to Jesus and I felt like it was a bad witness. I haven't smoked it since. However, it is illegal and on top of that and I'll be honest with you here, even if it was legalized - I still will not smoke it again for recreational purposes.

The reason for this is twofold. One, pot or Mary Jane, etcetera, makes a person complacent or lazy, or content to the point that for many, including myself, I become unmotivated. Why go to the beach, when you can go to the beach in your head? Two, it gives you the munchies and that's all I need is to want to eat more than I already am.

But let's look at the hundreds of illnesses, aches and pains that engineered cannabis extracts can cure or remove. I ask those of us who have been led to believe that the medical use of opium derivatives is okay, but marijuana is not, to do a little research. Watch videos of people being given this plant and see for yourself that it is high time to declare medical marijuana legal and pursue it to the nth degree. Remember what I said in my column last week; when putting a gun to your head seems like a viable option to stop pain, you will take whatever you can get, to stop it.

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Old dogs and new tricks

My two little dogs are both smarter than I realize, easily manipulating my bride and I into getting whatever they want. She taught them both to high-five about 6 years ago and that was enough to get a treat every time and still works today. My 8 pound shih tzu will sit and stare at me until I look away and then for some reason, I’ll give her a treat. My Pomeranian/Pappillon mix will approach my chair and begin this chuffing and moaning sound, signaling she wants outside, simply so she can check the smells and I obediently open the door for her.

She rushes out barking and this causes my shih tzu to excitedly follow her, barking like they have a major announcement. Once outside a serious amount of sniffing goes on before they find that perfect spot to tinkle. The shih tzu at this time will sit down on the far side of the yard and stare at me.  The Pom/Pap goes into investigative mode for 5 minutes, finding nothing that I can see or smell and only the word “treat” gets them back inside.

Twice a day, Bella (Pom mix) takes anti-seizure medicine which I administer in a small blob of peanut butter.  I shake the pill bottle and wherever she is in the house, she comes running to this preconditioned sound.  Coca (shih tzu) will magically appear on the back of the couch 10 feet away and I have to bring her a sample of the magic goo. She swallows the blob quickly, so she can lick my finger. The finger remnant appears to be more important than the blob for some reason.

Come feeding time, the routine doesn’t vary or the shih tzu goes on a literal hunger strike. I mix a small amount of soft food with the high dollar dry food I buy at the Pet store. If I run out of the soft food, forget it. Bella will eat whatever and is never in a hurry. To me, she acts like a dog. Coco however is a curious mix of rabbit, cat, dog, and female something. She wants what she wants, when she wants it, or no dice buddy. No soft food? No problem. She won’t eat.

 

Their routine is important to them and Bella just turned 7 and Coco is a year older. I’m not sure they will learn or want to learn anything new. In so many ways, we are the same way. I know I have to fight the urge to stick with what I know, instead of thinking progressively. I imagine you feel the same way.

Now I repair computers, sweeping viruses, etc. off of them and that technological field changes constantly. I am forced to keep up with it and it amazes me how complicated it all has become. If I had to start right now learning what I know, the task would be overwhelming and “pert near” unattainable. This progressive technology has been good for me, as it carries over into other parts of my life and has kept me from falling into the rut of only knowing what I already know.

I have forced myself to read so many technical manuals that almost anything new, is just one more study to know it. Take for instance that new vehicle you bought with 400+ whiz-bang gizmo programmable dealies on the dashboard. How many of us will learn and actually use a quarter of those things? Most of us will not, but I know I will. I’ll fiddle with it until I am like a jet pilot, because I am that curious. I want to know how they work and then use them.

We recently bought a high-tech washing machine.  My bride stared at it like it was a copper-headed cobra moccasin. I was like “Cool!”. I am still discovering things it will do and when all else fails, I’ll read the manual to see where they screwed up.  Most likely none of us read the manual and utilize the product by trial and error. We figure we will read it later, but that is the epitome of “You can’t teach old dogs new tricks.”

The reason we can’t learn is because we don’t want to. Wow! What an epiphany! “Waa, I can’t get this to work, Bert! My PC is going crazy!”

“Did you do research and reboot and then run the anti-virus software I told you to run once a week?”  (Silence)

“Uh, I’ll get back with you.” The next day, I hear from them. “Hey, this is (insert name here) It is working! I don’t know what I did.” My answer is always the same and I tell them they are now computer repairmen. Note: This is not in reference to Royce Owens. LOL Progressive learning is like walking up hill. It is determination and work and that is why it is so easy to just stick with what we know.

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