I'm hesitant to write along these lines this week, but feel
that many of my readers will relate. I like to write motivational,
inspirational, and sometimes humorous or challenging columns that have a
message or make us want to be a better person. Probably too often I pontificate
while pointing out injustices or rude social behavior, but not this week.
A couple days ago, I drove my 85 year old mother to see her
pain doctor. She has to go each month and sit anywhere from 1 to 3 hours in the
waiting room to prove she is not abusing her pain drug, which now thanks to
recent regulation changes, hydrocodone is being phased out. This highly
effective drug has been the only reason she has lived a semi-normal life and
she takes it on schedule.
What she gets now is a form of morphine that doesn't address
her numerous joint pains, which she itemized with a chuckle. "My shoulder,
neck, back, wrist... even my big toe!" Her doctor earlier had explained to
her that she was concerned my mother would become dependent on the hydrocodone.
My mother, who is in full control of her mental faculties looked at the doctor
like they were out of touch with reality.
As she explained to me in my car, "I am 85 years old
and I cannot live with pain. I am fully dependent on that medication to relieve
it, regardless if the drug is addictive or not." It didn't matter to the
doctor and my mother also had this little gem of inside information. "If
they were in pain, they would understand."
This conversation took place last month when we went through
three days of her running out of hydrocodone because none of the local
pharmacies carried the new pain killer. It got very close to a panic situation
for her. At the time she was explaining the issue of pain and meds, I was pain
free and have been for years, but what she said sounded logical, although I
couldn't really relate. People complaining about health issues falls on deaf
ears to the healthy.
Sadly, I was soon to be educated why people choose to end
their life rather than live in constant pain.
On March 21st, I awoke with a stiff neck. I drove to the
NASA gym to instruct a spin class at 0830 and by the time I left, my right
shoulder was numb and I couldn't turn my head.
By noon, I was climbing the walls. I have never felt pain that intense
and it was one solid long line of agony. No matter what I did or what position
I was in, nothing relieved it.
I doubled up on ALEVE and 2 days later I was at the VA
emergency room. I couldn't sleep. I
couldn't think of anything else except the non-stop pain in my shoulder and
bicep and at first I thought I was having a stroke, but ruled that out for a
pinched or impinged nerve.
They set me up for an MRI in 5 days and gave me a small
prescription for a weaker pain med named Tramadol. I took one every 6 hours as directed and ran
out Sunday morning, 3 days later. This was 2 days before my appointment. I am
convinced the doctor didn't really bother to calculate how many tablets I
needed because he couldn't relate. People living in pain are very aware of how
many pills they have. The pain came back with a vengeance and by noon on Sunday
I drove the 30 miles to the VA and went back into the emergency room.
Through a miracle, I got an MRI within an hour and a
sympathetic doctor who prescribed my 5 meds. He asked me what the level of my
pain was and I told him it was the one right below crying.
To make a long story short, I have about 8 inches of
vertebra that over the years have sustained enough injury that now through a
shrinking of the nerve channel it is impinged. My arm is numb to my finger tips
and I've had to curtail not only my spin classes, but all gym time until we can
resolve the issue. Being the competitive
individual that I am, this is very difficult for me, but the possibility that
the pain will magnify past the place where it can be controlled is so scary
that I just backed off.
This brings up another subject of medicinal marijuana for
pain management. It has been found so effective, for so many people, only those
who cannot relate to pain would object to legalizing it. When a person would
take a bullet to the head to stop the pain, what in god's name would be wrong
with using something that works?
I am one month into this and still numb to my fingertips on
my right hand and close to starting a second 16 day blitz of Prednisone, where
it feels like I am on fire internally. I have a pain consultation on the 27th
to determine a course and it appears it will be acupuncture. I still remain
hopeful about instructing spin class, but as I approach age 65 in June, I
simply have to realize I am no longer the young buck that still lives inside of
me.
