Sunday, October 05, 2008

Spam is Crazy Tasty


Spam is Crazy Tasty. It says so right on the front panel of the uniquely designed easy-open can and I wholeheartedly agree. It’s also salty. Real salty and tastes delectable.
Spam is made by hard-working American canned meat folks in Spam Town USA - Austin (I like that), Minnesota and is actually good for you too. It must be. People in places like Korea, the Philippines and Hawaii love the stuff so much; they’ve made gift-giving cans of Spam a friendly sign of future prosperity and blessing. I can see why. The stuff is literally a gift from above. Literally.

The ingeniously designed aluminum can is easy to open also and this only bolsters my already expansive appreciation of the swine-meat product. Turning the container over after I opened the can and dumping the blob of taste bud-tempting gelatin-covered meat onto a cutting board, I read on the back panel all about using Spam to make a sumptuous Egg ‘N Cheese Muffin. Yum!

Muffin: English, toasted. Cheese: American (I like that), melted. Eggs: Scrambled: Sliced, Fried. Difficulty level on a scale of 1 to 10: 2. Wow! Even I can do this, I thought. Finally an American product for Americans that has a recipe that wasn’t written by a foreigner and translated into something too complicated to attempt! Spam is a simple meat product and simple to prepare; in fact it’s simply marvelous. My only point of contention in this recipe would be an American muffin instead of something from England.

I know, I know. I should be writing about weather and financial storms, but who can worry about stuff like that when I have a can of something that has worked for a legend of followers since 1937?

Right below the Uniform Product Code bar, is a simple set of instructions to prepare this tasty pre-cooked dollop of pinkish pig meat using a frying pan or yes, a microwave. Who doesn’t like nuked food? Spam is delicious nuked, but I, of course, fry mine in the skillet, as I want to watch is sizzle to a rich golden brown, like my ancestors did back when. I sprinkle on a little Tony C’s to bump it up a notch if that’s even possible.

Straight up and open for all to see, the attractively designed can labels the ingredients in the Classic variety of Spam as: pork with ham, salt, water, modified potato starch, sugar, and sodium nitrite and being a handler of additives and oxidants, I know sodium nitrite is just a preservative and keeps my pre-cooked hog meat safe to eat, even if it sets on my shelf post-Armageddon (which incidentally could be any day now, or 50 years in the future).

Flipping the can over again I decided right then that I am not afraid to embrace greatness. Six billion cans have been produced. Six billion. If I had that much money, I would be a billionaire! I came to this realization after eating this spice of life stuff and that further drilled home the fact that Spam must contain pork brains in its yummy goodness. Forrest Gump would call it brain food in his innocence and I would agree with him.

When I hear folks joke about Spam as "Something Posing As Meat", "Stuff, Pork And haM" and "Spare Parts Animal Meat” I laugh so hard, my ample Spam-filled belly shakes. It’s hard to criticize a product that has made so many people satisfied. Others claim it is a poor choice for weight loss and optimum health, but what do they know? Around the world many folks aren’t concerned with losing weight or optimum health. They’re concerned with eating enough to stay alive. Me too.

Case in point, if adventurer Steve Fossett would have sat down to a few cans of tasty Classic Spam goodness instead of choosing an aerial adventure, he could probably be ballooning over Georgia Bigfoot country right now instead of pushing up cactuses. I pretty much qualified Spam as a healthy lifestyle alternative with that statement and rest my case for this delicious compounded meat in a can food choice. It’s simply Spam-a-licious folks.

In fact, I’m seriously thinking of launching an investigation into this meat product to see if its addicting, cause I’m hooked!

Spam® is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods.

1 comment:

Natalie said...

Heh...Heh! That photo is priceless! I can tell you're on the brink of salivation. I figure one could dine on that "stuff" and live forever...fully preserved!

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