1. Even though they stayed up all night partying at the Obama celebration and will be too tired to get up and go to work today, they will still get a paycheck with the full amount, as welfare isn't dependent on actually working!
2. 53% of the US Population commits suicide! I'm thinking I will read this headline in about a year, when a large number of voters realize they will have to give up their newly purchased Lincoln Navigators and Cadillac Escalades and lose their freshly purchased houses because the new "change for prosperity for all" government wont make their monthly notes.
3. Within one year total US troop strength in the Middle East is heavily reduced, military budget is severely slashed and we return to Bill Clinton's idea of a Superpower without defense. The void left by our absence will be filled by Chinese advisers in Iraq. Europe's economy tanks due to no R&R's taken by US troops and the unemployment rates skyrocket as soldier's are let out from troop reductions.
4. Oprah Winfrey calls for a recount when she finds out that SHE is one of the rich that Obama is going to tax like the rest of us.
5. The Obama governments first 10% general tax hike is to fund expanding the Secret Service in response to the Black Panther hit squads, when they learn that he is actually as rich and pro-oil as all "those white crackers".
6. Detroit auto-making woes continue. Michiganders outraged 2 years after Obama's election when it dawns on them that the reason their economy sucks had nothing to do with George W. Bush, but large SUV and pick-up trucks with stinky mileage.
7. The new President opens up 1400 franchises selling everything from automobiles to snake oil cough syrup and surpasses Bill Gates as the world's richest man.
8. Hollywood and New York City continue to rejoice over Obama's election, as neither city cares about anything but themselves.
9. Barack Obama spends the first year in the White House in seclusion as he tries to figure out "what do I do now?".
10. White Aryans do nothing to rid the country of a black President, as they know the number one killer of blacks in this country is other blacks.
As the big man is my witness, every word of this is unquestionable and void of hyperbolic incredibility. With that taken into consid...
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