Friday, March 24, 2017

Is behaving badly, the new standard?



I signaled to exit onto North Main Street coming off SH-146 the other day and there was a car rapidly approaching from the flyover off of Spur 330. To be honest, I was exceeding the 60 mph speed limit by about 8 mph, or 68 miles per hour. The fellow zoomed up behind me so I couldn't see anything of his car except the roof, as I have a large spare tire on the back of my Jeep that obstructs my view when cars are close.

I was slowly decelerating down to about 60, as the ramp speed limit is 45 mph. The fellow swerved back and forth behind me trying to decide if he could pass me up and when I subtly countered his possibly dangerous maneuver, he finally shot around me and made an obscene hand gesture. I ignored him in a supreme act of self-control, as I was more curious about what exactly my offense was, than responding to his rude behavior.

He cut all the way to the right lane and accelerated to a stop behind another car wanting to turn right on North Main. I coasted in and stopped in the far left lane and looked over at the guy. He didn't appear to be in any state of emergency, or anything. He was simply driving. The light changed and he immediately got on the bumper of the car in front of him and tailgated up to the next red light. I observed this in my rear view mirror as I headed north.

Someone said a measure of a person is to watch how they drive and I believe it. I mentioned to a stranger the other day something about turn signals and they proudly declared they never use them. They said they don't want to let people know they are changing lanes because "they will speed up and won't let you in". I couldn't argue with that.

I grabbed a basket at Food Town the other day and it was wedged to the one in front of it. A lady came up beside me and pulled the next row cart free and she looked at me as I untangled the carts. "Why not just get a different one?" she sincerely asked. I told her it would just be a problem for the next person and then succeeded in freeing it. She acted as if I was the Lone Ranger and maybe I was at that moment in time.

How many times have you walked into a store or business with someone in front of you and they simply let go of the door even though they knew you are behind them? I was at Patient's emergency room the other day and the opposite happened. The lady in front of me held the door until I could grab it. I joked that she was a true gentleman and she replied, "I was raised right" and maybe this is the explanation to this anti-social behavior.

Who raised these inconsiderate masses that they don't even consider helping their fellow man? That's it. Probably someone other than their parents. The thought never crosses their mind that what they are doing isn't socially favorable. To them they are not being rude. They are simply looking out for numero uno. They want their way regardless of how they get it. If those around them don't like it?  Tough noogies. The Golden rule never crosses their mind.

Remember the old saying about one bad apple? Well, it may appear at times that these self-servers outnumber people with good manners, but I don't think they do. We just notice them because they rub us the wrong way. Good manners will never go unnoticed or unrewarded. A kind word, a simple consideration, or stepping aside so someone else can get a step up can have excellent results and brighten a person's day. When I pay a person for food service or at the grocery store, I usually attempt to say their name and wish them well and this automatically makes our exchange personal and sets me apart from everyone who saw them as faceless and nameless minions.

In our times when everyone wants to be seen as unique and their own person, why not try being kind and considerate? Wow! That would set you apart from many instantly. Why not slow down and let people in instead of accelerating to keep them from taking what you feel is yours? I don't believe poor behavior is the answer to any situation let alone the new norm, but it appears there are a good number of people trying hard to convince me otherwise. Have a nice day!
.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

Mimsy: Like mother... like son. Right?

Anonymous said...

Gilbert Morton: Sadly, I think this behavior is the new norm for the majority.

Anonymous said...

Ken Pridgeon: EVEN WITH MY CAR PAINTED WITH THE AMERICAN FLAG THEY DO THE SAME-MAYBE IT'S THE PLAYING OF THE VIDEO GAMES THAT YOU MUST BE FIRST NO MATTER WHAT AND I WILL MAKE YOU ANOTHER BET. I WILL BET NOT MANY WILL READ THIS GREAT ARTICLE TO THE END...

Anonymous said...

Kelly Bordelon: It is so easy for the poorly behaved to wear everyone down. I've taught my children to hold the doors for others, but my 15 year old didn't recently. I asked, why did you think it was ok to let go of the door when there were people right behind you? Her explanation was 'last time we were here I held the door for five people, and none of them said thank you'. Treating others how you'd like to be treated is a harder lesson. The well behaved have to build each other up by not giving up. Great article Bert

Anonymous said...

Ruthie Ames Good morning !
I've seen them too Bert. But the rest of us just keep on doin' what's right because it's the right thing to do.
I taught my boys as I was taught and I know they are training theirs.
I also make a point to notice name tags of wait staff or cashiers as they check out the person ahead of me. Then as I step up at my turn there's a 'Good morning Ms Melanie (smile as I meet their gaze), you doin' alright today?' If they are one of us, I get an 'in kind' greeting returned. If some other, I still get a reaction, surprise😀 or 'Do I know you?' look (those are funny)😳, or they brighten up maybe thinking I'm a Secret Shopper😁. The nicest ones are a reaction more like, 'hey, you noticed me and you're being nice to me'😊. (I know, the emoji's, I just couldn't resist.)
I hold the door for folks - men or women, try to honor car blinker requests, etc. The others? Well, Bless their hearts. 😉
... "Be not weary in doing good, for in due time ..."

Anonymous said...

Ken Pridgeon: YOU KNOW-THIS SHOULD BE JUST A NATURAL WAY OF LIFE...

Anonymous said...

Mike Lewis: Good read Bert. Good job.

Anonymous said...

Lois Hofmann: Thank you for the reminder to be courteous, it is contagious in a good way. Good article. I can never get those darn grocery carts apart though.

Anonymous said...

Larry Houston: Careful! You'll wrench your shoulder trying to get those carts apart!

Anonymous said...

Sarah Graham: Great article.. I was having similar discussion with my two kiddos yesterday. I think I'll read this to my students today.

Anonymous said...

Kathy Witmer: Bert Don't ever Change.

Anonymous said...

Gerald Langford: Great column. Another response to the question, why don't you use your turn indicators: it is nobody's business where I am going! You and Wanda are the best writers

Anonymous said...

Susan McGuyer: Enjoyed the read, but I have to say, most of the time, people hold the door open for my husband and me. Maybe it's just because we are in our 70s (me) and 80s (him), but it's appreciated.

Anonymous said...

Great article. I heard two people in two different places make reference to it today. So if nothing more, at least three people read it and agreed with you. Made me proud to call you my friend for saying what you believe.



I have two more classes in this round. This coming Tuesday we are touring the jail but the following week, April 4th, we are doing the shoot don’t shoot stuff. You are welcome to come by and play if you want.

Hope all is well with you and yours.

Stewart Beasley

Crime Prevention Officer

Baytown Police Department

Anonymous said...

DR: Great article Bert! It's a shame that the people who display the actions mentioned will never take the time to read it, or if they do, refuse to believe it's about them

Anonymous said...

Tracey Bocksnick: The rude drivers slay me. Every morning on my jaunt into H-Town from the Dirty Bay, boys in their giant trucks, with three sets of blinding lights, trying to bully their way in traffic. I've said it once, I'll say it again, I think they are trying to make up for something

Anonymous said...

Vivian Marcott: Great reminder!

Anonymous said...

A kind person can make my day. I like to be that kind person sometimes too.....Debi

Thankfully, we have an anchor!

 Today is Thanksgiving? Already? My grandson swam in the pool Monday. Am I the only one who feels like we are hurtling over the sur...