If this house is rockin', don't come a-knockin'

 I don't think I am alone when it comes to uninvited guests suddenly appearing at my door. Gone are the days where people opened their front door to strangers. If you haven't heard, this is the new hospitality. With a few exceptions, I will welcome you to my front door under a couple or few conditions.

One, if you are family (and we are not fighting). Two if you are a neighbor in need (and I have to recognize you as such). I say this because these days a person can live 2 houses down and you never see them face to face. This would seem odd that a person can live close by for 8 years and you have never talked to them, but that is why the old rules are obsolete. People drive in from work and pull into their garage and close the door. You may see them leave to grab a bite to eat, or to drive to work the next day, but no one waves because we don't know each other.

Three, I will welcome you to my door if you call first. Apparently this is not an obvious consideration. Four, if by chance you do call, be punctual. Arrive when you say you will arrive. From the time I was a teen old enough to catch a ride with a buddy, I have hated standing by the front door waiting for my friend who is "on my way". After an hour of standing on first one foot than the other, they finally arrive even though they live 5 minutes away.

An exception to these rules are children accompanied by their parents selling cookies/candy as a fund raiser. I have also opened my door for scavenger hunting teens.

Back in the day before all rules changed, visitors were acutely aware they were visiting. Punctuality still applies believe it or not. If you show up to visit, be aware that your host might not be keen on you burning up 3 hours while you wait for the next folks to get home, so you can surprise them with a cordial visit.

If you are selling something (or swearing you are not selling something), I won't open my door. Sorry, times have changed. Like my dad used to say when a salesman came to the door, "I wasn't shopping". I really won't give you consideration if you want to argue that I should listen to your sales spiel. The same goes for the salesman attempting to gain entrance via the telephone.

The telephone is the modern day salesman at your front door tactic. I would like to think all of us know this, but the programs and robotic voices are getting more difficult to detect. The latest one sounds like a human and calls from "Dealer Services". Dealer services? Really? That is all the better they can do? I blatantly asked them what they were dealing. "Dope, drugs?" I asked and yelled out to my bride, "Honey, I have a drug dealer on the phone," and then hung up. I don't know if the robot responded as I wasn't shopping.

Here is the real poop on this whole front door thing. My home is my sanctuary. Please see it as such. Don't make me install a moat and a draw bridge; just take the hint. If you want to visit, give me a ring. We all have phones strapped to the sides of our head, so I will answer, or not. The "or not" is a subtle message that I will call later or never. If no one answers, don't come over. I may be sun worshiping my pale body with a mankini on in the back yard. I may be in a bad mood and bite at you and that's why I don't answer the door. Yes, sometimes I am anti-social to the point I simply don't want company.

In this complicated time of political and racial unrest, my home and yard are where I go to avoid conflict. If a casual visitor would like to join me, I simply ask that they warn me first. Is that weird, or am I just an old fossil that is not in step with the slippery times? I am not in a bad mood, give me a call. I may answer.

.