Humor - Question of the day!

Woke up this morning about 0330 and decided to see if I had an email from my son in Iraq (didn't) and it was raining like crazy. I could hear my little dog whining from behind my door, so I let her out. Suddenly we had a bright flash of lightning and my doggie started hopping around by the window.


The lightning/thunder had scared her and she wet on the floor. This is the second time in a month she's done this when we had loud thunder. I took her immediately outside, but she wanted no part of all that rain and ran off into the house, ears back as if scared.


About this time the air-raid sirens went off at the end of the street. This is the Seek-immediate-indoor-shelter alarm the city put up in case we have a tornado, or a chemical plant excursion. All of a sudden through the pounding rain I hear 'BLAM' and my daughter comes out of her room and asks what was that noise?


I look in front of the house and a car has ran into the pine tree I planted about 10 years ago. I see two young people standing in front of the house and the girl is crying. I call 911 and they want me to confirm if anyone is actually hurt, which I can't do, as the young people are walking around in the rain with cell phones to their ears.


Anyway, the siren keeps going off and people are coming out of their houses to see what is going on and I look down and my legs are covered in mosquitoes. This is the worst outbreak I've seen of skeeters in years!


So, the cops come and in the meantime, I recognize the boy (21 years old) as a kid I taught Karate to about 10 years ago and he told me he lost control around the corner in the rain when his car skidded. We got all that settled and they towed his car to his house. I went out a couple of minutes ago to look at the damage and there was a copperhead laying on top of the water meter.


My question is this: Do these pants make my butt look big?