The Sleep of the Just

My wife tells me I am asleep before the room gets dark.

For the first 40 years of my life, I stayed perpetually tired at work. Heckfire, I was just plain tired most of the time. I was sleep-deprived and didn’t know what to do about it. The “experts” have a little test to find out if you too are sleep-deficient. Sit in a quiet environment for 5 minutes and if you yawn, you need more rest. Uh… hello? I was at the point, that when I closed my eyes, I was dreaming. Perhaps you are too.

The solution to sleep-deprivation is surprisingly simple. So simple in fact that I thought I would share my proven secrets with the many fine Baytonians who nod all day, wishing they could get a handle on their downtime.

The secret to getting up early is going to bed early.

There, I said it. Please don’t scoff and say it is the lack of time in your day that causes you to stay up so late. The real problem for most of us working folks is once we finally lay down, we are in such a hurry to get to sleep… we worry about over-sleeping. We can’t shut down. We stay up later and later and wake up so exhausted, we have trouble the rest of the day.

We are time bombs, ticking till exhaustion finally takes it toll on our job performance, our relationships and our health. We become cranky. We feel yucky. We accept this as normal. We are what Frank Zappa calls “Zomby Woofs”.

Here are my tips for going to bed and falling asleep instantly.

1. Plan your bed time. Promise yourself you will stop your day 30 minutes before bedtime. Thirty minutes just for yourself. No noise, no bright lights, no worries, no problems. If you want to be asleep at 10pm, then shut-down at 9:30pm.

2. No strenuous activity for 2 hours before bedtime. There are a number of factors which can inhibit the wind-down process such as exercising late. Do not exercise too late in the day. You will need a minimum of two hours to wind down after a heavy work-out. Do NOT drink “energy drinks” or caffeinated beverages in the evening.

3. No bright light or loud noise. Stay away from bright light and loud noise a minimum of 30 minutes before retiring. Do NOT turn on a bright bathroom light to wash your face, brush your teeth, then get into bed and expect immediate sleep. Use a night light instead. Bright light stimulates your brain and that is the last thing you want when you are tired.

Note: Violate this rule on bright light and you will not fall immediately asleep.

4. Do NOT watch television while in bed. You are injecting your eyes and ears with bright light and loud noise by repeating the behavior you are trying to eliminate. You need those 30 minutes of peace and quiet, along with the soft light to unwind.

5. Do NOT plan tomorrow. Forget today, tomorrow, your bills and the future, period. This is another mistake people make which keeps their brain active and denies rest. I let tomorrow, worry about tomorrow. You will replace your thoughts with my last recommendation.

6. Read yourself to sleep. Instead of mulling over the day’s activities, or tomorrow’s problems, read instead. I keep a history book on my nightstand and I always read in a quiet environment before I shut off the (dimmed) light. Many folks use this time to read their Bible. Find something you enjoy and keep it on the night stand.

7. End your day happy. The first time, I start to nod, I put the book down and without looking at the light, I shut off the lamp. I finish my day by whispering a prayer for my family and BAM! I’m asleep. I cannot over-stress the importance of each step, but the no bright lights and low noise are very important if you want to go to sleep immediately.

That’s it fellow Baytonians. Practice my methods for a few weeks and you too will sleep the “Sleep of the just”.

Sweet dreams!