Thursday, June 07, 2012

Art League of Baytown - New PC!

A week or so ago, I got a phone call from the Art League of Baytown (I'm a member in dubious standing) to give them 911 emergency service on their dead PC.  I threw down my plate of bacon-wrapped jumbo shrimp and pork & beans, kicked over a 6-pack of tepid Bear Whiz Beer, and hopped like a rabbit out to my awesome Jeep Wrangler Cosmic Blue 4-door rig, aptly named "tha Choppa"

I remember flooring it, as I am also a technical adviser for the club and Susan Urban sounded near tears.
Nefarious Art League member Baytown Bert and the esteemed Artist Susan Urban
"BB, we just gots to have this thing up and running or we can't cipher our Quickens (or something, I can't remember my own emergencies, let alone someone elses)," she blurted in my ear as I drove over.

"Ma''am... MA'AM!  SUSAN!  Settle down.  I will either fix it, or I will bluff my way through."  I distinctly remember vowing and I sounded pretty danged confidant too, even to myself.

Arriving on the scene, I can still remember looking at the machine.  It was a Tandy TRS-80, if I recall.  It was covered in little paint-covered fingerprints and I could tell the artists had been all over it.

Holding back a loud guffaw, I proclaimed they needed a new machine, seeing how this one was originally purchased something like 40 years ago.  It was Ben Franklin's last contribution.

"Well..."  Susan said, obviously impressed.  "If you say so."

"Dang tootin'"  I said.  I call em like I see em."  Then she told me Gary Erwin had tried to fix it and I just rolled my eyes.  "Oh geeze... Gary wasn't even born when this computer was introduced."

I scribbled the name of a new Dell model out that folks are having success with and tossed it smugly on the desk.  "Just give me a call Missy when the new machine comes in and I'll saunter over and fix it right, with the "Quickens and all", and I walked out feeling smarmy.
Bobby Sutphin teaching a water painting class today.
 Well, the call came in today, just as I was shoveling a thick slab of jalapeno boudain between the cheek and gums and I - being a connoisseur of French cuisine (and very hungry), swallowed it without chewing.  Gulping down a scalding hot very black cup of chicory-laced French Market coffee and donning a minimum of clothing (as you can see above, Jane Lee is there and she's always impressed by my tactless attempts of covering myself), I darted out the door.
Baytown Sun Reporter and artist Jane Lee

The beautiful Bobby Sutphin was teaching a class and I'll be darned if I didn't receive a standing ovation when I came in.  Even the veteran Baytown Sun normally unflappable reporter Jane Lee gave up a couple hoorays, as she was moved to a flood of tears.  I was seriously humbled and probably to top Jane and impress me,  Susan Urban literally ran around clapping her hands.

I was danged impressed, but tried not to show it, so I announced I had to "do my wizardry computer crap and all," and I shut the door behind me, threatening immolation (them, not me) if I was disturbed. 

Well, isn't that what all IT professionals do?  To be honest, I'm not an IT professional.  I am a computer savant.  That's what I had printed on my business card.

Anyway, I took about an hour nap, letting the boudain settle, then with 3 shakes of a mouse cord, I did the magic we PC gurus do.  Stepping out of the room, I feigned total exhaustion and Susan and Bobbie helped me out to my Jeep.  I heard Jane tell the others "He puts his heart into his work, like us artists, but with more feeling." As soon as I went around the corner in my Jeep, I got a very smug look on my face and cackled loudly and went to find a geocache, hidden over by Lee College (GC3F1K5).  Oh the life!


Anonymous said...

Bert saves the day! Again!! JL

Anonymous said...

Oh I just read the blog - tears are rolling down my eyes - too funny! Thank you so much Bert - the Art League is so fortunate to have you as a member! You don't have to attend meetings to be active with us - we appreciate you as we do all our members. SU

Anonymous said...

Bert, I still use my Trash-80, Model 3 (not old enough for the Model 1). GE

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