Skip to main content

Art League of Baytown - New PC!

A week or so ago, I got a phone call from the Art League of Baytown (I'm a member in dubious standing) to give them 911 emergency service on their dead PC.  I threw down my plate of bacon-wrapped jumbo shrimp and pork & beans, kicked over a 6-pack of tepid Bear Whiz Beer, and hopped like a rabbit out to my awesome Jeep Wrangler Cosmic Blue 4-door rig, aptly named "tha Choppa"

I remember flooring it, as I am also a technical adviser for the club and Susan Urban sounded near tears.
Nefarious Art League member Baytown Bert and the esteemed Artist Susan Urban
"BB, we just gots to have this thing up and running or we can't cipher our Quickens (or something, I can't remember my own emergencies, let alone someone elses)," she blurted in my ear as I drove over.

"Ma'am...ma'am... MA'AM!  SUSAN!  Settle down.  I will either fix it, or I will bluff my way through."  I distinctly remember vowing and I sounded pretty danged confidant too, even to myself.

Arriving on the scene, I can still remember looking at the machine.  It was a Tandy TRS-80, if I recall.  It was covered in little paint-covered fingerprints and I could tell the artists had been all over it.

Holding back a loud guffaw, I proclaimed they needed a new machine, seeing how this one was originally purchased something like 40 years ago.  It was Ben Franklin's last contribution.

"Well..."  Susan said, obviously impressed.  "If you say so."

"Dang tootin'"  I said.  I call em like I see em."  Then she told me Gary Erwin had tried to fix it and I just rolled my eyes.  "Oh geeze... Gary wasn't even born when this computer was introduced."

I scribbled the name of a new Dell model out that folks are having success with and tossed it smugly on the desk.  "Just give me a call Missy when the new machine comes in and I'll saunter over and fix it right, with the "Quickens and all", and I walked out feeling smarmy.
Bobby Sutphin teaching a water painting class today.
 Well, the call came in today, just as I was shoveling a thick slab of jalapeno boudain between the cheek and gums and I - being a connoisseur of French cuisine (and very hungry), swallowed it without chewing.  Gulping down a scalding hot very black cup of chicory-laced French Market coffee and donning a minimum of clothing (as you can see above, Jane Lee is there and she's always impressed by my tactless attempts of covering myself), I darted out the door.
Baytown Sun Reporter and artist Jane Lee

The beautiful Bobby Sutphin was teaching a class and I'll be darned if I didn't receive a standing ovation when I came in.  Even the veteran Baytown Sun normally unflappable reporter Jane Lee gave up a couple hoorays, as she was moved to a flood of tears.  I was seriously humbled and probably to top Jane and impress me,  Susan Urban literally ran around clapping her hands.

I was danged impressed, but tried not to show it, so I announced I had to "do my wizardry computer crap and all," and I shut the door behind me, threatening immolation (them, not me) if I was disturbed. 

Well, isn't that what all IT professionals do?  To be honest, I'm not an IT professional.  I am a computer savant.  That's what I had printed on my business card.

Anyway, I took about an hour nap, letting the boudain settle, then with 3 shakes of a mouse cord, I did the magic we PC gurus do.  Stepping out of the room, I feigned total exhaustion and Susan and Bobbie helped me out to my Jeep.  I heard Jane tell the others "He puts his heart into his work, like us artists, but with more feeling." As soon as I went around the corner in my Jeep, I got a very smug look on my face and cackled loudly and went to find a geocache, hidden over by Lee College (GC3F1K5).  Oh the life!
 .

Comments

Anonymous said…
Bert saves the day! Again!! JL
Anonymous said…
Oh I just read the blog - tears are rolling down my eyes - too funny! Thank you so much Bert - the Art League is so fortunate to have you as a member! You don't have to attend meetings to be active with us - we appreciate you as we do all our members. SU
Anonymous said…
Bert, I still use my Trash-80, Model 3 (not old enough for the Model 1). GE

Popular posts from this blog

Camp fires, wood smoke, and burning leaves.

When I was a kid, everyone burned leaves in the fall. I always enjoyed it so much.It was a happy time. Man, that smell was amazing and you couldn’t go anywhere without smelling it. Of course now I know that it is a major source of air pollution and those of us that live inside the city limits are restricted from doing it. I don’t think I would burn them anyway, choosing to compost instead.
The whole family would engage in raking the yard and the reward was burning the leaves. The thick gray smoke would pour out like liquid clouds and we would run through it. Afterward, we smelled like smoke, but we didn’t care. I would wager that most people under the age of 30 have never even raked leaves into a pile, let alone burn them.
Growing up in north Georgia in the late 60’s, my 3 brothers and I would camp out most of the summer and burn anything and everything on our campfire. At the end of summer there wouldn’t be a stick, pine cone, or needle on the ground. We smelled like mountain men a…

Riding the waves

Back in 1974, after coming back to the USA from the unpleasant conflict in Southeast Asia, I was stationed at Vandenberg Air Force Base in Lompoc, California. Vandenberg has 20 miles of coastline that is basically closed to the public and people in residence, regardless if you are in the military or not. This rule didn’t seem to affect my fellow airmen and I from going body surfing on a lonely stretch of beach, far from controlling authorities. There was a submerged shelf that ran out a couple three hundred yards from the beach that was flat and about 6 feet deep.You could swim way out there and as the ocean waves came in, they would hit that shelf and make 5 feet high waves that white-capped all the way in. Now mind you, this was pre-Jaws and none of us had ever heard of a Great White shark. Year later I read where this stretch of beach was prime habitat and a couple years ago, an airman was killed right there.
We had been in the 65 degree water for about an hour and I was turning …

Reading, Writing, and Arithmetic

I wish I could remember who it was that said you can get a basic education in three years, but let us take a look at Ben Franklin as an example of that. We have a family joke that the answer to almost any Jeopardy clue is almost always “Who was Ben Franklin?”
When I am asked who I would most likely enjoy an afternoon with, it is always Ol’ Ben, the only President of the United States, who was never the President of the United States. Did you know he was the master of self-promotion and a man I admire? Even as a young lad, if he spotted a person of higher station, he would grab a shovel or some tool and begin to work diligently. The person would see him and remark, “What a fine worker that young man is!”
I’ve read a couple of books on the man and it still amazes me that he did so much with so little organized education. “From 1714-1716, Franklin attended Boston Grammar School and George Brownell's English School (for one year each) but he was withdrawn due to the expense of formal…